How do you make your marriage a top priory when the mission always comes first? You don’t compete with the mission. When you are in a military marriage you realize that the reason your spouse is in the Military is to keep the United State safe. It doesn’t mean your relationship or marriage takes the backseat. If anything you need to keep your military marriage strong so it can withstand any situation that might arise.
Keeping your marriage strong is comprised of the 5 C’s! Connect, be Compassionate, Communicate, be Committed, and Confide.
Always communicate with your spouse. Communication is the key to connecting and staying close to you spouse. When my wife works away from home I always try to use google message to engage and create conversations with her. If she is connected online I can talk with her immediately and all the little things that I think of through the day I share with her. Communicating will remove distance no matter how far away you are.
My wife and I always talk to each other in different accents depending on our moods, but we use the accents as a fun way to liven up our everyday conversation. I love it, and we always laugh when we are together. We are goofy and have a good time whether we are driving somewhere or simply laying down with each other.
Forgiving is a huge thing in any relationship or marriage. If you have an argument and can’t get over it what happens? You lose trust in your relationship you take 3 steps back instead of 3 steps forward. The unresolved argument lingers and floats into all aspects and interactions you have with your spouse whether you realize it or not.
Who wants to be sad, angry, and hurt when you can’t connect because of an argument? Showing compassion is important to a relationship; you have to realize no one’s perfect. Being understanding and patient with your spouse is one thing to not over look.
You should know when you’re right, know when your wrong, and know when it doesn’t matter. Relationships are about sharing your life with someone. It’s give and take. Compassion lays path for having an open heart and being able to show kindness to your spouse.
Relationships must have compromise because both people are deciding the outcome of a situation together. Balanced sacrifice for the good of the relationship helps strengthen it and eliminates resentment. One outcome of compromise in a relationship is independence.
Some spouses need to do things for themselves by themselves like going to school, pursing a job promotion, or a hobby. Currently, my wife makes handcrafted soaps and I blog in my free time. We are both very much a part of each other’s hobbies and are interested in what we do but we both realize we need time away from our relationship to do things that interest us. My wife and I are creative souls but show it differently.
One spouse may want or need to be independent. That doesn’t mean they are not fully committed to the relationship or love their partner less. Sometimes our spouses have their own interest outside of the marriage. They need time to be a their own person with their own identity, away from the identity as a couple. It’s okay to want to do things without your spouse. You create new experience to share with your spouse which ultimately strengthens the relationship. Compromise promotes trust within a marriage.
Giving the gift of freedom to your spouse can bring great joy and a sense of closeness you can’t get any other way. You must put away insecurities and trust your spouse to make the right decisions.
How do you show you’re committed in your marriage? It can be shown through small gestures like being lovable and showing patience when difficulties or complications arise.
Have a kind attitude goes a long way in a relationship. Show you’re committed by doing simple things like thanking your spouse for something they did for you, saying I love you, sharing a meal, or watching television together. My wife and I have a few shows we only watch together despite our different work schedules – Fear the Walking Dead and House of Cards.
All marriages are a work in progress. Some weeks are better than others, just like some days are better than others. You must always keep trying and you cant give up. Giving up on your commitment to each other can only lay a negative foundation for your marriage. An important thing to remember in a marriage or any relationship that is long term is: Keep it Sexy. No one is perfect, but its always a good idea to keep the romance alive in your relationship.
Be present in your marriage; stop putting all your attention on your phone or the computer. Disconnect from the web and reconnect with your spouse who’s right in front of you.
Listen to your spouse when they share their deep secrets with you. Share your fears. Be vulnerable. Grow with one another. Every situation you go through in life is a chance to grow close. Learn from each other. Staying connected and confiding go hand and hand. Your spouse is your other half. They are there for you when you need them the most. Rely on each other and trust in each other.
I have turned into a great listener pretty ever since I got married. If my wife needs to vent about some dummy she knows or encounters, I let her. It can be difficult sometimes because she is so passionate and explosive with her venting. At first it was hard to not take it personal but I am getting the hang of it. You have to let you spouse be who they are.
Hear what your spouse is saying and look at your spouse when they have something to say when you’re together. Really listen to what your spouse says. Be thankful for one another and appreciate what you spouse does for you and your relationship. Say it, don’t just think it – your spouse isn’t a mind reader.
What ways do you connect, show compassion, comprise, and show you are committed and confide in each other? Leave a comment and share your thoughts!