Lesbian Military Parenthood Part 2: Starting your Family – In Vitro Fertilization

This is a triumphant time in history as Same-Sex Marriage is now legal in the United States. You can be married to the woman you love and have a family all while you or she serves in the military without hiding. So, will it be ICI, IUI, or IVF? And you only thought the military was the only one who used acronyms! There is a lot that goes into conceiving a child for a lesbian couple.

I am considering IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) as an option for staring my family with my wife. Bringing another person into the world, who grows inside of you is an experience of a lifetime. Some would even consider this experience alien, for example my wife, but that’s okay. We would be creating our family together.

In this post I will lay out what goes into having a child biologically. I am here to help navigate these choppy waters and sail you to smoother waters with this post.

Where do I start?

Read and research. Check out these great stories lesbian couples share about their experiences on becoming moms.




Should you consider Freezing your Eggs?

Really freezing your eggs is completely a personal decision based on your own personal needs and wants medically or professionally driven. You maybe almost be at the peak of your career and still need to time to develop professionally or finish your education. Your health could be another factor on deciding to freeze your eggs. Whether its your age, health or career  its okay to wait. Today with modern technology you have options on deciding when is best to start your family.

What is artificial insemination?

Here are some basic terms related to ART (Assisted Reproductive Technology) to get you thinking.

AI , or Artificial Insemination – the injection of semen into the vagina or uterus other than by sexual intercourse.

IUI, or IntraUterine Insemination – is a fertility treatment that involves placing sperm inside a woman’s uterus to facilitate fertilization. The goal of IUI is to increase the number of sperm that reach the fallopian tubes and subsequently increase the chance of fertilization.

ICI, or IntraCervical Insemination – Similar to intrauterine insemination (IUI), it involves placing sperm directly into the woman’s reproductive tract to improve the chances of pregnancy. The main difference is that the ICI procedure places the sperm sample near the cervix, rather than the uterus as in IUI. From the cervix, the sperm travels up the uterus and into the fallopian tubes to fertilize the egg. Since the sperm is placed further away from the fallopian tubes than in the IUI procedure, prices for ICI are typically much lower.

IVF or In Vitro Fertilization – In vitro fertilization (IVF) is a complex series of procedures used to treat fertility or genetic problems and assist with the conception of a child. During IVF, mature eggs are collected (retrieved) from your ovaries and fertilized by sperm in a lab.

Now, that you know a little more about the different kinds of ART’s (Assisted Reproductive Technology), how do you decided which procedure to pick? The best advice I can give is visit your doctor and find out. No two women are the same and you may need to use various procedures for your situation and financial means.

Where do I get sperm? 

Getting sperm is easy all you have to do is buy it from a website. However, I think it is best to research the clinic, read reviews, and visit the clinic before purchasing sperm.

Does Tricare cover the costs?

Tricare does not cover artificial insemination, in vitro fertilization or any cost related to donors or sperm bank unless there was a service related injury causing one to become infertile or unable to physically have a child.

Check out these Pins:

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What are my resources?

Don’t fret because lots of clinics around the country offer discounts for Military Personnel for services related to reproductive health care. Here is a list of military discounts for active military duty and veteran families.

LGBT Friendly Clinic Listing with Military Discounts Available

Not only can you receive a Military Discounts for fertility treatments but you can be assured all of these clinics are LGBT friendly. It’s a big event to starting your family without the stress of wondering if the doctors you meet your needs and give you the help you need as a lesbian couple.

  1. Reproductive Science Center

Features: Here is some information about the discount program:

  • 10% flat fee discount on all IVF procedures
  • Two tiered approach
  • 5% off the first cycle
  • 10% off the 2nd cycle if not successful
  1. Texas Fertility Center

Features: Texas Fertility Center offer a 25% fertility treatment discounts for those in the military (and their spouses) who are currently on active duty, active reserve duty, or retired.

  1. Boston IVF

Features: To show our appreciation for those who graciously serve our country, we are proud to offer a special military discount for active service men and women in need of fertility treatments.Our Military Discount Program offers 25% OFF treatments like: IVF, Donor Egg & Egg Freezing.

  1. Shady Grove Fertility

Features: The discount provides active military and reservists a 25% discount off self-pay rates for services provided by SGFRSC. Discounts do not apply when the fees are paid to an outside service and, therefore, not within our control. If you are interested in one of our discount programs please ask for eligibility criteria.

  1. Reproductive Medicine Associates of New York

Features: 25% discount to males and females active in the military and veterans.

  1. Genesis Fertility & Reproductive Medicine

Features: Genesis can offer a 25% discount off our regular IVF pricing as a  service to those who serve/served our country. In addition we will provide free cryopreservation for 6 months. Genesis has offices in Brooklyn, Staten Island and Hewlett, NY.

  1. Fertility Solutions

Features: With thanks and appreciation for the commitment and sacrifice shown by the men and women of the United States military, Fertility Solutions is proud to announce its Military Advantage Plan – a discounted IVF payment plan. The Plan Includes:

  • In-cycle services including ultrasounds, venipuncture, egg retrieval and embryo transfer
  • Conventional embryology, and in-cycle andrology and endocrinology laboratory services
  • All in-cycle professional medical services of physicians and staff
  1. Reach Parenthood

About: At Reach Parenthood we understand the frustrations and adversity that can arise when trying to start a family as a same sex couple, but we are proud to be a close ally as you embark on a life-changing journey that will bring an immense amount of happiness and joy to both you and your partners lives. At reach parenthood we are more than just an IVF clinic but rather a confidant to help you start your family through one of our many In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) options.

Clinic Listing with Military Discounts Available

Check out this list of clinics who offer discounts for military personal and veterans.

1. Advanced Reproductive Center of Hawaii

Features: 10% off of all services not covered by Tricare (excluding medications.)

2. Michigan Center for Fertility & Women’s Health

Features: We offer a 20% discount to qualifying military families.

3. Sher Institute for Reproductive Medicine

Features: $2,300 discount on a single cycle IVF plan vs. fee for service rate. $900 discount on a frozen embryo transfer vs. fee for service rate.

4. Southern California Center for Reproductive Medicine

Features: 20% discount for any cash pay service for those without insurance.

5. Washington Fertility Center

Features: Washington Fertility Center is pleased to offer US veterans and those in active duty a 50% discount on any fertility testing or treatment not covered by health insurance. This is our way of saying ‘thank you’ to the men and women that serve our country so bravely.

*List sourced from:  http://www.resolve.org/support/infertility-and-the-military/

Grants and Scholarships

“Undergoing infertility treatments such as IVF can cause not only physical and emotional stress, but can bring financial strains as well. Fertility treatment costs, particularly IVF, can add up. In order to help couples afford fertility treatments, a number of foundations and organizations provide Fertility Treatment Grants and other financial assistance.”

Check out these great grants and scholarships which can help fund your dreams of becoming a parent. Don’t let money be the reason not to start a family. Use all resources available to you.

BabyQuest Foundation is a non-profit organization whose goal is to grant financial assistance to those who cannot afford infertility treatments such as IUI, IVF, egg donation, and surrogacy. Applications are accepted from heterosexual, same sex couples, and singles.

The Compassionate Corps Program is a patient assistance program for eligible, uninsured veterans who are suffering from infertility due to a service-related injury or their spouses to receive free fertility medicine manufactured by EMD Serono. The Compassionate Corps Program is available for up to 2 cycles per year. Patients must reapply each year.

The Kyle and Samantha Busch Bundle of Joy Fund
The Kyle & Samantha Busch Bundle of Joy Fund is a monetary award for in-need families struggling with infertility.  These funds will assist with the costs associated with infertility treatment through the REACH Clinic of Charlotte.

More Resources:








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Lesbian Military Parenthood Part 2 Starting your Family - In Vitro Fertilization

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I want to bring awareness and acceptance for LGBTQ in our communities all across the world. What better way than by blogging? I want to share with everyone.

5 thoughts on “Lesbian Military Parenthood Part 2: Starting your Family – In Vitro Fertilization

  1. I really appreciate this. There is not a lot of info on this subject on the web, and it is definitely something that my wife and I would like to research in depth before plunging into it.


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