14 Fabulous Fall Themed Care Packages


Fall is here today. It’s September 22, 2017 its officially fall! Now you can start creating those crafty fall care packages. If you spouse significant other is deployed they will probably be miss all the comforters of home, especially during fall when football is getting back into full swing, the weather is cooling off and all the fun holidays are coming up. I am excited for fall and hope you are inspired.

Send a care package to your spouse and give them a taste of home even if they are far from home.

Also, this is a great time of the year to reach out to other solider who might not have a family or not support from home. There are wonderful out reach groups like Operation Gratitude or Homefront Hugs USA where you can volunteer to assemble care packages. You can also donate items to help create care packages to our troops. Consider participating in letter writing to deployed troops, veterans or wounded warriors.

The little reminders of home can lift your soldiers spirits.

Check this fabulous fall list of care packages to get your creative side flowing. Also, at the bottom see some suggestions to send your spouse or significant other during fall.

1. I’m still falling for you after all this time



2. Fall Is Here



3. Football is here

Football care package


4. It’s Fall Y’all get a little country

Its Fall Y'all


5. ‘Owl’ miss you!



6. Happy Fall yummy snacks



7. Pumpkin Spice & Everything Nice that’s what Fall is made of



8. I’m Nuts about you



9. September – Happy Fall Baby

Happy fall care package


10. ‘Owl’ love you



11. I’d fall for you every time

I'd fall for you every time care package

12. I miss you! Happy Fall!

I miss you Happy Fall care package


13. I hunted down everything that makes me think of you



14. Can’t wait to fall back in you arms



Fall Themed items for Care Packages:





















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National Military Appreciation Month: Everything you Need to Know

National Military Appreciation Month in May was designated by Congress to give Americans time to reflected back on and show our thanks  for those who serve, served or gave their lives for this great country we call the United States of American. I am very proud of my wife who served in the Army for 5 years. She continues to serve in the State Military of California alongside the National Guard.

Looking back on military history allows new generation’s time to learn about what happened and time to prepare for the future. Our world is every changing and getting smaller and smaller by the year. It is up to us to remember our history, to remember our victories as well as our failures to keep America great and free.

National Military Appreciation Month: May 2017 Days to keep in mind

Loyalty Day May 1st, 2017

“We humbly thank our brave service members and veterans who have worn our Nation’s uniform ‑‑ from the American Revolution to the present day.  Their unwavering loyalty and fidelity has made the world a safer, more free, and more just place.” – President Donald J. Trump

Public Service Recognition Week: May 7 – May 13, 2017

Public Service Recognition Week (PSRW) is organized annually by the Public Employees Roundtable (PER)and its member organizations to honor the men and women who serve our nation as federal, state, county and local government employees.

VE Day May 8th, 2017

Victory in Europe Day, generally known as V-E Day, VE Day or simply V Day was the public holiday celebrated on 8 May 1945 to mark the formal acceptance by the Allies of World War II of Nazi Germany‘s unconditional surrender of its armed forces.[3] It thus marked the end of World War II in Europe.

Military Spouse Appreciation Day May 12th,2017

Military Spouse Day or Military Spouse Appreciation Day is celebrated on the Friday before Mother’s Day in the United States. Many United States citizens take this day to acknowledge the significant contributions, support, and sacrifices of spouses of their Armed Forces. Each year, the US President normally commemorates this day with a ceremonial speech and proclamation.

Armed Forces Day  May 20th, 2017

President Harry S. Truman led the effort to establish a single holiday for citizens to come together and thank our military members for their patriotic service in support of our country. The single day celebration stemmed from the unification of the Armed Forces under the Department of Defense.

Memorial Day  May 29th, 2017

Memorial Day is a federal holiday in the United States for remembering the people who died while serving in the country’s armed forces. The holiday, which is currently observed every year on the last Monday of May, originated as Decoration Day after the American Civil War in 1868, when the Grand Army of the Republic, an organization of Union veterans founded in Decatur, Illinois, established it as a time for the nation to decorate the graves of the Union war dead with flowers

Ways you can participate in National Military Appreciation Month

There are many ways you can participate in National Military Appreciation Month. Here are 10 ways to support our military and veterans:

  1. Display the American Flag on your home or business.
  2. Engage in social media to highlight military and veterans.
  3. Send a care package to a soldier through USO.
  4. Donate to “The Wounded Warrior Project” and support the thousands of wounded warriors and their families.
  5. Encourage elected officials at all levels to recognize our military and veterans.
  6. As a business, when offering military discounts, include all who serve and have served or hire a veteran.
  7. Like National Military Appreciation Month (NMAM) on Facebook.
  8. When you see a person in military uniform, shake their hand and thank them for their service.
  9. Volunteer or visit your local VA Hospital to honor veterans from past conflicts.
  10. May is also American Military History Month learn something new.

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10 Military Spouse Secrets that will make you Ready for Anything


Everyone loves a good secret because who doesn’t want to know the what’s going on? I know that I am always looking for good advice on life, love and everything in between. Being a military spouse means there will be times you need advice or need a secret or two to help you on your way. I want to share some secrets with you. Most often we go about our lives and forget what matters. We may even forget there is a path  we can take with the least resistance.

5 Secrets for getting along with your spouse

Instead of “being flexible,” be adaptable 


Being flexible means to endure situation without breaking so there could be a chance you break. However, when you are adaptable you learn a new way of dealing with hard situation in a new way without chancing a break. Maybe instead of saying to your spouse “Call me whenever you can” say “Make it a point to communicate with me.”

When it comes to being a spouse especially being a military spouse being able to be adjust to things, people or places is a must. Whether your spouse is on a training or mission and deployed your spouse is under a tremendous amount of pressure on a daily basis. Try to put yourself in their shoes. Realize that something’s are a part of the job and not a reflection of your spouse.


Be willing to forgive


Forgiveness in any relationship is a must. It can be hard to forgive or admit that you were wrong. Keep in mind, forgiveness helps you and your spouse to move on from the situation to a more balanced emotional state of mind. No one is perfect and forgiveness is even more important in a military relationship. Forgiveness is twofold first you are able to let go of negative feelings and second you are able to grow and learn within your relationship.


Be ready to communicate


Communication expressing yourself through talking to your spouse, but also the way you talk to your spouse. I know I have been guilty of using a bitchy tone with my wife. It doesn’t help us connect or feel close to each other. Tone matters when you are speaking or expressing yourself to your spouse. Words and how you say them are powerful and so are emotions. Find the balance in how you communicate with your spouse.


Be understanding


I believe being understanding means being able to know when your spouse is tired or happy or hangry. Understanding mean putting yourself in your spouses shoes. It also means realizing not everything your spouse says or does is personal. I think being able to be understanding gives you the edge to see the situation through your spouses eyes instead of just your own. Yes, at times it can be hard to see it their way but of course everyone has and opinion and different thoughts about things. Keep your heart open and listen to your spouse a little more.


Be kind


There is a lot to be said about simply being kind to your spouse. Maybe they missed your call or your spouse hasn’t emailed or written back to you as quickly as you would like. When you do get a chance to talk with your spouse be kind. Its all about the approach you take to get the response you need.

Kindness is the act of being considerate of the other person’s feeling while being generous in the manner in which you interact. Being kind can go a long way when it comes to the interactions you have with your spouse and can help eliminated future arguments. You can be kind it just takes a second to practice.

When in a military relationship, you have to remember if you spouse comes home grumpy and doesn’t want to talk about work that day is okay. Recently, my wife came home and was frustrated about her rank in time and the promotion she was suppose to receive. however once her unit looked into her service everything worked out. If you are in a situation where you can seem to connect with your spouse give your spouse space, time and opportunities to talk on their own about what happened in their day.

5 Secrets for you

Be open to new things and people


In military life might more often than you would chose to or switch jobs more frequency than you might like. Military life is full of surprises, opportunity and you learn how strong you are as a person. Its important to be positive in any new atmosphere you are in. Look at your cup as half full instead of half empty. There are gonna be time when you need someone other than your spouse or family to confide in.

Be open to new coworker or other spouses where ever you are stationed. Look for ways to connect with your community like participating in local charities or food drive or check out a FRG meeting.


Be prepared to ask if you don’t know something


Military life is daunting, its okay to ask questions or talk to others if you are frustrated or upset or just plain happy. There will be times you need to confide in others like friends, acquaintances or co-workers about what’s going on in your life. Take a good look around and see what you need help with. The only dumb question is the one you don’t ask. I really love knowing everything. I also ask or research and try and find the answer.


Instead of “staying busy,” Be okay to be alone


Remember its okay to be alone, but try to find ways to beat loneliness while your spouse serving their country. Let go of unattainable or unrealistic ideas of what it means to be alone. Take the time when your spouse is away to discover who you are, what you want out of life, and spend time with friends and family. Why not do all those things you have been meaning to do? And I don’t mean cleaning.


Instead of “bloom where your planted”, Be true to yourself

Be true to yourself


Be who you are, do what you enjoy. Don’t lose sight of what make you happy and what makes you passionate. I love reading. (Harry Potter is awesome just saying) I love cutting hair and I love working. My family and friends are important to me and  I enjoy spending quality time with them. Being able to be your true self means not letting your circumstance cloud what makes you happy and makes you who you are.


Be healthy


Focus on taking care of yourself because no one else will. Be healthy from the inside out. Learn to eat better, sleep well, stress less and find peace. Military life can throw you a bunch of curve balls and you need to be emotionally and physically fit to hand all the stresses that can come your way.  Exercise in whatever way make you feel good about yourself whether that is by doing yoga, running at the gym or just going out into nature and walking. Always find a way to see the good in all things.


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How to Add More Understanding to your Military Marriage

When you come together as a new couple to start a relationship then marry, you love everything about your spouse and they can do no wrong in your eyes. As time passes and the honey phase of your marriage wears off you begin to see your spouse for who they are and all their annoying habits or traits. Remember you are a spouse too and whether you believe it or not you have some habits your spouse deals with. Any relationship brings two people together that think and feel differently, not to mention express emotions differently as well. No doubt it’s hard to be in a relationship with two different people. Now add having your spouse in the military.

Marriage in the Military world is even harder to maintain, especially in times of war, frequent deployments, low pay, and let’s not forget the effects of stress on our Troops. Talk about hard work? They’re not kidding when they say being a Military spouse is the toughest job in the service.”Laura Roberts

I heard somewhere most of the time people fall out of love for the very same reason they fell in love. Look for the positive, for the cup to be half full instead of half empty. How do you add more understanding into your relationship? The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines to understand as to know how (someone) thinks, feels, or behaves. I believe the way that you add more understanding to your military marriage is by having patience, communicating, compromising, forgiving freely, and not holding things against each other.

Keys to Add More Understanding

Be present in your relationship


Realize: You might not always being able to plan events or spend every holidays together but you can share your experiences even long distance.

Cope: Use webcams whenever possible!

No relationship is easy you have to build and work at your relationship every day because there are situations that can tear your relationship apart if you let it like distance, jealousy or infidelity. With any relationship you have to build it from the ground up keeping those walls strong so they won’t fall under the slightest pressure. Live each day in the present. Remember, there is nothing you can do about the past except learn from it and the future hasn’t happened yet. Needless worry can kill the romance while drawing you and your spouse apart instead of together. Find the reasons why you love each other and show each other that every day. Enjoy the small moments in your life and cherish them.


Be able create balance and order


Realize: You will not be able to control or will the military to do anything.

Cope: Use your wit, strength, and love to find peace in your life.

Just like with any relationship you have to keep trying. Try even when its hard and don’t give up on your spouse because they are always there for you. Agree on the important things in your life and decide what goals you want to pursue as a couple like buying a new, buying a new house, fixing up your credit or starting a family together. Come up with a life plan and figure out how to deal with different situation together instead of against each. I know it’s easier said than done. If you can maintain a healthy friendship with your spouse you are already one step ahead.


Be open and honestly communicate


Realize: Communication might not always be easy if your spouse is deployed or training for long period.

Cope: Find ways like writing hand written letters or creating care package for you spouse to communicate while they are deployed.

Understanding takes time to sculpt in a relationship but you can do it you learn everyday that’s a great thing. When it comes to the relationship you’re in it together. if you feel like your partner has forgotten how to love you then both have to communicate and figure out how to connect. Communication is 1 part listen and 1 part talking. Everyone gets to be an active listener and an active talker. Express how you feel at the right time in the right atmosphere.  


Be ready to comprising


Realize: You do not need to lose your sense of self when your spouse’s career in the Military take precedence in the your relationship.

Cope: Find your passion and go after it.

Comprising means meeting in the middle not necessarily giving up how you feel or what you want within the relationship. Its good talk things out when situation occur and decide together what will make both parties happy. You won’t always get your way but you can try to keep hurt feeling and resentment bay when you comprise on something. Compromising is giving when you can taking when you need to.


Be willing to forgive and move on


Realize: All couples have disagreements whether your spouse is in the military or not.

Cope: Speak your peace and continue living.

You learn early on in your relationship you’re going to make mistakes, everybody makes mistakes, and that’s okay. By learning from those mistakes and grow from your failings  in turn helps your relationship become stronger. There will be days when you’re really going to need your spouse to get through whatever situation life tosses you. It important not to let disagreements or arguments linger for longer than necessary. Be forgiving and loving after things settle down and when you can talk to your spouse about things in a calm manner. Hugging always helps too!


Use your Resources

1 a lesbianarmywife.com

Realize: You have more resources that you can know you just have search for or ask about resources you need.

I have been reading the most amazing book about Military Marriage and I am half way done. I highly recommend this book.




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How to Add More Understanding to your Military Marriage

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Lesbian Military Parenthood Part 3: Starting your Family – Adoption

Creating a family is a very personal decision between you and your spouse. Some couples decide to try and conceive their children while some decide to adopt. However you and your spouse decide to have children its up to you. For a long time I have wanted to conceive a child through IVF. Although, I know my time is ticking and I am not getting any younger. Lately, I wonder if adoption might be a better way for my wife and I to start our family. I won’t have to deal with my body changing or my hormones being out of wack. Which might not be a bad thing.

“I was Chosen, I was Wanted, I was Cherished, I grew in their Hearts, I was the Missing Piece, I was Loved, I was Adopted.” -Unknown

We live in a time where you no longer have to hide who you love. No longer do you have to feel the need to live in secrecy. Today you can share your love and grow your family in the military no matter what your sexual orientation is. There are so many possibilities and great benefits you can tap into when married to a military personal  you never though would be availability to you family.

Key things Lesbian Military Parents need to consider if planning to adopt

Know the Types of Adoptions in the in the United States:

  • Children now living in foster care.  Birth parents parental rights have been terminated. Contact your local public or private adoption agencies in your area.
  • Fost-Adopt. The child is placed in your home as a foster child with the expectation of the children becoming legally free to be adopted.
  • Infant adoption. Many couples want to adopt infants, however there maybe less infants available to be adopted. Independent adoption are adopt through a mediator like a lawyer, physician or other facilitator rather than through a licensed adoption agency.

Closed vs open adoption: 

A closed adoption is where no identifying information is given or exchanged between the child’s birth family or adoptive family. Once your adoption is final the records may be  to the available to the adopted child when they reach 18.

An open adoption is where the birth parents and adoptive parents along with the child keep in contact.

Adopting your Stepchild

Step-parent adoption is directed by state law. And each state has its own laws!  For example, some states do not require a home study for step-parent adoption.  Most will mandate that a couple be married for a certain length of time, which varies from state to state.

International Adoption

Adopting a child from another country is complicated and expensive.  Some countries have significantly reduced the number of children that are available to be adopted, and others have eliminated international adoption entirely. Nonetheless, there are agencies that can help you with international adoption.

Information referenced can be found here: www.adopt.org

State Laws

Although same-sex marriage is now federally legalized in the United State keep in mind not all state laws are not the same regarding same-sex adoption.




Research Adoption Agencies in your Area

Things to ask yourself when looking for an adoption agency:

Is the adoption agency LGBT friendly?

Does this adoption agency specialize in working with military personally?

What kind of reviews does this agency have?

Is this adoption agency local accessible to me?

Can I meet a with a branch counselor to discus adoption?

“Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother.” – Oprah Winfrey

Learn More about Adoption and Family Dynamics

I found this wonderful article from Answers 4 Families  call Common Issues in Adoption:

Adoption is different than forming a family biologically. The adoption process differs from forming a family biologically and the social and family support may not be as available as they are to families formed biologically. Adopted children enter the family with their own history, genes, and set of circumstances that differ from that of the adopting family. Family dynamics are different for adoptive families.

Mastery and control relate to the sense of personal power that all people seek over their lives. For adoptive parents there may be challenges to mastery and control related to infertility and having strangers become involved in the most intimate decisions of their lives. Children also lose a sense of mastery and control because of all the decisions made in their behalf and the various circumstances they faced in coming into and being a part of the child welfare system.

Separation, loss and grief are experienced by all touched by adoption. For adoptive parents it may be the loss of control, the loss of being able to have children biologically, or the loss of the child they fantasized joining their family through adoption. Adopted children have lost their birth parents and perhaps ties to other significant people in their lives, their community, their culture and everything that is familiar to them.

Unmatched expectations of the adopted child and the adoptive parents are inevitable because the expectations that each person brings to the relationship usually have little in common. Each party to the adoption makes an emotional investment in it and expects some return on their investment.

Bonding and attachment are crucial to adoption. While the bond a child has with birth parents is unique, attachments between adopted child and adoptive parents can be formed. However, there are many challenges to attachment which relate to the earlier experiences of the child, including the type of parenting they received in early stages of development, attachments developed and subsequent trauma, separations and losses.

Entitlement is the sense that adoptive parents and adopted children have a right to one another. The legal right to one another is granted by the court. Entitlement, however, also has an emotional side. Adopted children and families are often challenged about their entitlement, both internally (questioning themselves about whether they deserve their child or deserve their family), and by society which does not sanction adoption in the same way as it sanctions biological families.

Claiming is the process by which the adoptive parents come to accept the adopted child as their own and as a full-fledged member of the family. Identifying similarities between the adopted child and adoptive parents and other family members facilitates acceptance of the child which gives the child the same status as a member of the family as other members. This may be difficult when there are differences in history, appearance, values, interests or behavior between family members.

Family integration identifies the challenge of bringing two different family systems together, that of the adopted child, and of the adoptive family, to form a new family system. Formal and informal rules of family living, which have developed over the years, must suddenly change. New patterns of family interaction and new family roles must be developed so that life can get back to where all family members know what to expect.

Identify formation is an issue for the adoptive family and the adopted child. Identity relates to one’s sense of self that has identifiable boundaries and value. Identity is rooted in family history. For a child with a history different than other family members this can present challenges. The family also seeks to find a new identity as an adopted child gains membership and everyone comes to know what being an adoptive family means. Identity is formed, both consciously and unconsciously, through experiences, interaction with and exposure to other people, and by making decisions concerning who one is and what one will be.”

*For more information visit www.answers4families.org

Know your Military Adoption Benefits

Adoptions qualify for reimbursement only if the adoption is arranged by a qualified adoption agency, or other source authorized to place children for adoption under state or local law.

  • Up to $2,000 reimbursement for adoption expenses up to $5,000 a year maximum
    • the adoption of a child under the age of 18;
    • an adoption by a single person;
    • an infant adoption,
    • an inter-country adoption;
    • an adoption of a child with special needs
    • and stepchildren adopted by the military member
  • Up to 21 days of adoption leave to bond with your new child
  • Health care benefits before the adoption is final

How to Apply for Adoption Reimbursement

Complete the DD Form 2675, Reimbursement Request For Adoption Expenses, and submit it through your chain of command. Attach copies of all receipts, agency documentation, and court papers associated with the adoption proceedings or court-certified copies. In the case of foreign adoptions; certified translations, U.S. currency equivalents, and extra documentation may be required.



For more detailed information check out the this link

The completed DD Form 2675 and substantiating documentation must be submitted for review to the member’s servicing personnel activity no later than:

  •  year after finalization of the adoption; or
  •  year after obtaining U.S. citizenship if a foreign adoption.


 Other Great Resources:




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How to Live While your Spouse is Deployed

1 How to Live While your Spouse is Deployed 1

During times when your spouse is deployed its up to you keep the home front in order and take care of yourself. It can feel overwhelming and confusing trying to organize and handle daily life on your own if you are use to your spouse helping out. How do you make sense of you new life without your spouse?

I love this quote by  Winston S. Churchill “It is not enough that we do our best; sometimes we must do what is required.” We must rise above and go that extra mile to support our spouse.

Know the cycle of deployment its a Know the cycle of deployment its a very emotional time when your spouse is deployed for you and your family.very emotional time when your spouse is deployed for you and your family. What is the cycle to Deployment?

The Five Stages of Deployment 

deployment-cycle (1)

Its really easily to drift in and out of good time and bad times while you spouse is deployed you could feel proud, lonely, grateful, angry, insecure, happy or guilty.  There might be time when you feel mad because you spouse didn’t response a certain way or used a harsh tone when talking to you. Both you and your spouse are experiencing life together in a situation where trust, understanding and patience are a must. No one is perfect and that’s okay as along as you can figure out how to live while you spouse is deployed.

I found this ready great illustration of what it came feel like for military spouses when their soldier is deployed.


The Five Stages of Deployment for a Military Spouse

  1. Pre-deployment (varies) – You might feel anxious and overwhelmed getting you soldier ready to be deployed. During this time you might be needier or want to spend lots of time with your spouse. You could feel like everything is falling apart but you try and get it together.
  1. Deployment (1st month) – You might be sad or cry missing your soldier and having them away. During this time its okay to be emotional and its okay to feel how you feel.
  1. Sustainment (months 2 thru 5) – You start to find your groove, your new normal living without your spouse. You begin to do the same things you normally did before your spouse deployed.
  1. Re-deployment (last month) – Scrambling to clean the house, to pay the bills, make sure there is food, and make sure you are all cleaned up. Just remember to breathe.
  1. Post-deployment (3-6 months after deployment) Ready for your fairy tale homecoming of your spouse. Just remember to have realistic expectations once your spouse is home.

Here are some key things to remember:

Decide what makes you happy

What makes you happy? Start looking around at your life and figure out what your passion is. Do you want to start or go back to school? If yes then go. There is nothing like living in the present moment. Or do you want to work on a hobby you stopped long ago? I am such a crafter and creator from crocheting and sewing to web design and blogging you name I have done it. Do you want to work or change jobs? Research jobs you would be interested in or apply to new jobs. During the time your spouse is deployed use your time to fulfill your dreams and hopes.

Connect and Talk it out

Communicate with your spouse is a must, make use of handwritten letters for a nogalistic feel, use emails when your spouse is out of reach, use phone calls and text messages to your advantage, or if you can’t stand it try using a webcam to see your spouse. Remember not to stress out too much or worry if you spouse hasn’t been able to contact you. If your spouse seems somewhat distant or lacks the emotion or energy you are used to, keep in mind they are serving our country. There will be times when you spouse cannot tell you everything they are doing on the job for security reasons it part of the job not a reason your spouse doesn’t share certain things with you. Always keep an open mind and positive outlook to keep your heart full of love.

Avoid toxic behaviors 

Deployments are not easy to adjust to and you might not ever fully adjust to the. Nonetheless, that is completely understandable and even normal to feel uneasy, sad, or angry that your spouse is gone. However, try to avoid negative thinking, drinking excessively, and spending a lot of money you might not have. Deployments are only temporary no need to dig yourself into a hole you might not be able to get out of. It’s very easy to sidelined if you isolate or distance yourself from activities or people you enjoy.

Chill and Relax

Take some time for yourself and don’t feel guilty about it: self-care is very important for your overall health. There will be days when you just need to kick up your feet up and drink that beer, margarita or cup of wine regardless of the calorie count for the day. Crack open that book or magazine you have been meaning to read. Binge watch all your favorite shows and have girls night whenever you want with your closes friends and new military spouses. Indulge actions that equal relaxation for you.

Keep Calm and Love Your Solider!


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6 Harsh Realities of being a Military Spouse and How to Embrace it

6 Harsh Realities of being a Military Spouse and How to Embrace it 1

Military spouses on the home front are just extraordinary and adaptable as their counterpart spouse who is in the military. Each military family willingly sacrifices parts of their life’s, to allow their family member in the military to protect and defend the United States of America. On the home front as a military spouse it can feel like you end up dealing with realities you didn’t expect to face.

Here is a quote I can attest to:

Military life today falls under a cloud of constant vigilance. The threat, either overseas or homegrown, never takes a backseat. Our minds don’t get a break from the peril of fatal injury for our service members.”  –Michelle Volkmann

Feelings you thought you could handle may bubble forth and you really can’t believe it. No matter what, you can choose to look at the positive or the negative. Always try to look for the positive we only get one life to live and I think it’s important to cherish and enjoy every single moment you can. Some days you will see more negative and some days you will see more positive.  You have to be the change you want to see in the world as the saying goes and its true.

I love this quote from a military spouse:

I once heard a Master Chief describe military spouses as the, “backbone of the military.” His statement has stuck in my head over the years. Without our support, many of our spouses could not have made it through the long night watches or long deployments. Having someone to love and support them is what keeps them going.” – Amber 

We support our spouses while they keep our country and they support us. Of course, we have friends and family who also play a vital role in support us while they are away. Everyone whether in the military are not can face harsh realities in life. You and I as a military spouses are not exempt from life’s harsh realities. We face unique and challenging realizations often, but we can embrace these harsh realities if we can look on the bright side of things.

I have created a list of harsh realities some military spouses face and ways to embrace those realities.

You sacrifice a lot (holidays, birthdays, family time & anniversaries) but embrace it by using technology and creativity to connect with your spouse.

You give up possible career advancement and jobs but in embrace it by finding your passion or working around your spouses career.

  • Decide if you want to work or not. What do you love to do?
  • Decide if you should move with your spouse are not. What’s best for your family?
  • Decide if you want to own your own business or not. What do you ultimate want from a career?
  • Look for resources to help your career like
  • Look for ways to share what you love to do with others.

You forgo long vacations but embrace it by taking mini-vacations or weekend getaways and make memories because life happens now.

  • Where is somewhere you have wanted to go recently?
  • Do some research and find a place where you can get away for the weekend. Have you moved to a new place?
  • Are you near mountains or a lake? Are you near a theme park, spa, or local hot spot? Where ever you are find short vacation spots and go on these types of day or weekend trips more often. Maybe you can go on an extended vacation but you can still go on short trips.
  • Learn more about Military Leave to understand when you could plan a longer trip.

Girls in bikini drinking cocktails and gossip outdoors

You up root your family and move every few years but embrace it by discovering each new place you live.

  • Some people never move their whole lives, what do you get out of moving? You get to see and experience new places. Look at the positive also you get to see more of the country and world than some people do in a life time.
  • Make it a point to try discovering you new home town by finding a new mall or local book shop to check out, look for temporary work near by, or join an exercise boot camp to meet new people.
  • Decorate your new house whether you live on or off base. Make your house, your home, your domain, your peaceful hide away.

You put your big dreams on hold but embrace it by following through with your small every day goals that will eventually lead you to live your big dreams.

  • Maybe your big dream is to get your degree but you can’t go to school full time. Try taking a few classes over time that you can manage that will lead your to you goal.
  • Maybe your  big dream to own your own business but you don’t have any money. Learn about what it takes to run a successful business. See if you can utilize  any benefits you have as a military spouse to start a business.
  • Maybe your big dream is to start your family but you can’t because your spouse is deployed or need to focus on advance schooling. Communicate and figure out when the best time would be to start a family. You can always read books, exercise and get ready for your future bundle of joy.
  • Whatever your big dream is always know you can have it because you dreamed it. The path might be just a little bit different that you expected. Be flexible and if you have to comprise on how to obtain your big dream but okay with that.

You miss out on having a normal relationship with your spouse but embrace it by seeing that your love story is different and awesome even if it isn’t normal.

  • What is a normal anyways? Relationships change and grow overtime. Life and circumstance shape and mold your relationship. Change is good.
  • Military spouses like you seek ways to keep on going when things are tough and your spouse is gone.
  • No relationship is the same and maybe you can’t always go on a date or cuddle or eat dinner with your spouse but its only temporary. Remember the reason why your relationship isn’t normal at times, your spouse is defending our nation and you are supporting your spouse.

There are realities we can’t always overcome. Look on the bright side of things. Keep your head up and take care of yourself! Embrace the bad while seeking the good.


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What are some realities you have faced as a military spouses and how did you embrace it? Leave a comment share your thoughts!